Before the Fall
by Lyssa Terald
Summary: In the quiet moments before his fall, before he discovered the truth of his nature, Sigyn was was called away. Despite her return and her love for him, he fell anyways chasing his mad plans and his ambitions. Companion piece for Redacted Faith.


She stood before Odin's court, jaw clenched and breathing as deeply as she dared. Her eyes were closed against the sharp grief that washed through her with the refusal. "Allfather, _please. _They are my people and they suffer needlesly when I can lend my skills to contain this plague. I do not ask to be released from my oaths, nor from my duties. I only ask that you let me _try."_

"The Vanir are a sturdy people, but they are not immortal," Odin returned gently, ignoring as his court shifted restlessly. "They bleed and fall to illness as any other mortal race would. Would you have me show them favor when the healers of the other races come to me aid beg for aid as you do? This is a pestilence, Sigyn, and not something for one of Asgard's healers to intervene on."

Her eyes darted to Thor and Loki on his left, but Loki could only shrug helplessly in the face of his father's refusal and Thor could only give her an apologetic look. Left to her own strength, she took a step forward and continued, "I will not go to them as an Asgardian healer, but as a healer born and raised among them. Regardless of what you have done for me, I still have a duty to them and all races of the nine realms to ensure that this _pestilence _is not a plague that will spread to all realms as the Black Death did from Midgard. Is that not reason enough to see this end?"

The court stirred uneasily as they remembered the death that had infected them because their warriors had ben so careless among the humans. Sturdier than humans and less prone to disease than the mortals, they still had fallen to _that_ particular sicknes and suffered for it. They murmured amongst themselves and looked to their king in silent appeal. Odin could only sigh at the quiet manipulation and glance at Loki, who looked to be suppressing a smile despite the grim nature of the matter. Of _course_ she would have picked up several tricks from him in their hundreds of years together.

"Do you truly think this outbreak such a dangerous matter?" he asked, already knowing her answer.

"Yes."

"Then I will grant you three weeks to investigate and contain this...threat," he said and caught her eye, letting her know he knew what she had done. She only gave him a grim smile as she bowed and look her leave.

* * *

After he had been released from the court proceedings, he sought her out and was almost surprised to find her in their rooms still. Loki stood in the doorway for a long moment and watched her sort the last of the things she would be taking with her. She still held a sprig of Wolfsbane and three vials of captured moonlight in her hand when she turned a worried look to him.

"Loki, I-" shd began, but he held up a hand to cut her off as he crossed their rooms to the cuboards she had taken supplies from.

Reaching in, he broke one particular enchantment and drew out a small chest that he tossed to her. "If you must craft this antidote as you obviously expect to, then take our store of dragon heart. I cannot imagine that any illness will be stong enough to resist your skills as well as something made from that."

She snatched the small chest from the air with one hand and dropped the other items into her pack. "You had...plans...for this. Are you certain, love?" she asked even as she held the chest tightly to her breast.

"Not in the least, but I can always find more. Three weeks is a limited timeframe to contain this type of sickness," he said softly, closing the distance between them. "You will be far too busy to track down proper materials."

When she slid her arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss, he stepped closer and lifted her off her feet to hold her against him and deepen it if only for a moment. After that moment had passed, she squirmed a little and he released her. She darted for her pack again and folded the precious dragons heart into its depths, sealing it with a spell of her own for protection. Then, she slung the pack onto her shoulders and looked at him again.

"I'll be fine," she assured him and a wry smile twisted his lips.

"That's what you said when you cured Thor and half the court of the Black Death and you _weren't," _he retorted. "You nearly died twice in those weeks it took you to recover. Don't...don't get infected like that and I will take that as thanks enough for the dragons heart."

She returned the smile even as they both knew it was a posibility and that it was the reason she had refused to ask for him to accompany her. "I'll be fine," she said with more confidence this time. "Just make sure Thor doesn't do anything more rash than usual and we'll be even."

He felt the current of power wash between them when she called to her the magic for the spell. "Don't hesitate to call on my power should you need it," he said just before the teleoportation snatched her away. The last thing he saw of her was the tight smile she gave him. Neither of them could have imagined what their weeks apart would change.

* * *

She was covered in three different layers of filth, she was exhaused, and she _ached_ from the continuous casting she had done in her weeks away from the court when she hadn't been forced to rest or crafting the secondary antidote. All she wanted was to bathe, eat something, and curl up beside Loki for three days, but Frigga had summoned her and a summons from the Queen wasn't something to be ignored. Rationally, she knew Frigga wouldn't have called her like this if it hadn't been important, but that logic didn't help her rising temper as the guards escorted her to Odin's own chambers. Really, Odin was the _last_ Aseir-

"Sigyn?" came the familiar voice that always turned her head and halted her thoughts. She blinked and then blinked again, because it was Loki standing there, before the double doors that were ajar. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept in days and he wore most of his armor except for his helmet.

"Loki," she said softly, closing the distance and starting to reach for him. Something dark crossed his face and he stepped back, but she pursued him and leapt the last two steps to capture him in a hug that had her toes barely touching the ground and her chin tucked against his shoulder. Inhaling, she took in the familiar scent of metal, leather, and pine. For a long moment, she stayed like that and then his hands setled on her hips and he gently but firmly pushed her away. Her hands were still on his shoulders when he set her on her feet and tried to step back, but she stepped with him and frowned at the attempt to put distance between them.

His expression was still closed to her when he said, "Sigyn, I...mother has called you here because we have need of your skills. Father has...the Odinsleep came upon him so suddenly. Mother fears he will not wake from it and wishes the opinion of another healer."

This time, it was she who took a step back and felt her own expression close. For all that she had ever cared, Odin could never wake from his yearly slumbers and she would have been content with that outcome, but Loki still loved him. _Why_, she could not fathom, but she had never denied him anything and she couldn't bring herself to start, not even then. "Alright, love. For you," she sighed.

He gave her an overview of what had happened and ushered her into the main room where Frigga sat at Odin's bedside. The glow of power that swirled around him had her pausing to study it with a keen eye, but Loki's hand in the small of her back propelled her farther inside. A superficial touch of her power against Odin's had her grimacing and pulling on depleted reserves even as _something_ flooded through her senses. It was like a deep chasm had opened before her, one that threatened to pull her in if she didn't step back. Reluctantly, she did so and was shaking her head almost before she had finished pulling back into herself.

"It omething her fuall of her backme doors that were ajar.r from.s deeper and stronger than the others," she told them, glancing again at Loki's curiously blank expression. "Beyond that, I cannot say."

Frigga studied her with a keen gaze. "Can you say if he will wake or not?" she asked.

Sigyn sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. "In truth? I think he is far too stubborn as to pass away in his sleep, but that is my personal opinion not my professional one. I cannot glean enough information about his condition to tell you anything with any kind of certainty."

It pained her to see the hope in Frigga's face replaced by weary determination. "I see. Thank you for your honesty, Sigyn, and for responding when you are so obviously weary. Go now and take care of yourself. We may yet have need of your skills."

She hesitated, seeing Frigga like this, but it was the set of Loki's lips and his tired expression that had her stepping forward. "Of course, my Queen, but I would first speak with my husband."

Frigga looked at her son, something _sad _touching her features, but Loki looked away. "I'm sure the court can spare him for an hour or two," Frigga said softly even as she reached for Odin's hand.

"Loki?" Sigyn asked, holding out her hand to him. "Please, love?"

When he fianlly met her gaze, it was a frustrated glare that she recieved. He didn't take her hand, but instead strode pasr her. She followed in his wake, feeling the edges of her temper stir again at the abruptness he was showing. It didn't escape her notice that the guards fell in with them and that those they passed fell back and bowed a little deeper than before she had left. Finally, he paused before an empty study and mockingly bowed her inside even as he ordered the guards to post themselves in the hall.

She didn't even wait until the door was fully closed behind him to grab two handfuls of his armor, pull his weight into her body, and kiss him hard. He was stunned enough by the suddeness that he let it happen. When he started to pull away, she drove his back to the wall and refused the gentle push of his hands against her hips again. "No, love," she whispered against his mouth. "Whatever this is, whatever the reason you seek to push me back, I will not go. So tell me what it is that troubles you."

Finally-_finally_-he leaned into her and slid his arms around her waist, touching his forehead to hers even as he locked gazes with her in a way that was almost challenging. "With the Odinsleep so near, Father decided that it was time Thor was crowned. I disagreed and lured three Jotuns to our borders..." he began softly and told her everything, watching every little flicker of emotion as he revealed the very secret Odin had kept from him for so long.

She pulled back slightly with a snort of disgust. His expression closed down and his hands slipped from her waist as she snarled, "Of all the hairbrained ideas he's had over the years, _this_ is his brightest by far." She blinked and then blinked again when he was suddenly no longer in front of her. She turned slowly on the spot to find him on the other side of the room, regarding her with a very cool look.

"Yes, it was," he agreed softly and she caught the dangerous edge that laced his words. "I am a stolen relic raised in the skin of an Aseir to be locked away when my use is at an end. You, I suppose, can enjoy the irony of the sit-"

"Don't you dare twist my words that way, Loki," she snarled, stalking towards him. "When I married you, I married _you. _It was not your race, your blood, your status, your face, your abilities that I vowed to love and cherish until the end of eternity. It was _you_, with your mischief and your chaos through both good and ill. We have bled and fought and _loved_ together for a thousand years and you think a small matter of bloodlines will scare me from your side?" He took a step back beneath the intensity of the emotions pouring off her and didn't dare to breathe, let alone hope because she wasn't done and her anger had only just begun to simmer. When she got close enough, she raised her hands and pressed them into his shoulders to shove his back to the wall again and this time he could only grip tightly at her elbows like he didn't want to let her go. "By the _Nine_, you daft thick-skulled male! You can shift into anything you _want_ so tell me why you think this would drive me from you?"

"I am the monster that parents teach their children to fear," he half-snarled at her.

The tone more than the words broke her anger and the exhaustion stole her will to fight him on the subject. Instead of snarling back as he expected, she folded herself into his arms and tucked her head beneath his chin. "No you're not, love," she sighed. "You're my husband and I say you are no monster."

His arms slid around her and he pressed his lips to her forehead. They stayed like that for a long moment before he pulled back and said, "You smell _awful, _Sigyn_. _Did you roll in a pile of manure before your return or something similarly vile?" Her answer was muffled by his shoulder but he made out just enough that it had him lifting his arms from her and stepping away. He didn't miss the way she half grinned at him, but he had to ask, had to be sure she hadn't said what he thought she had. "The Vanir...dumped a vat of urine on you...as _thanks_?"

"That's what I said," she replied and the grin spread a little.

Loki eyed her suspiciously and then chuckled. "It is, but I am willing to bet half a pound of Wolfsbane that you are actually covered in three weeks worth of blood, grime, and sweat."

She laughed openly then and the knot of tension eased in his chest. They were back to their old habits, their usual banter like nothing had changed. "Is it my turn to fetch the Wolfsbane and you're saying you need a half pound of it for your next project?"

"Perhaps, but in all fairness you did take the last of our stock with you," he returned with the same easy smile she was giving him. For that moment, _just that one moment_, he could almost believe that nothing actually had changed, that Thor was not banished and a war looming ahead, but the moment passed and the smile faded. "Sif and the Warriors Three will try something foolish very soon. I want you to remain in our rooms under the protection of a full guard until this has been dealt with."

She was shaking her head almost before he was done speaking. "Sif and the Warriors Three have always followed Thor about like good companions. Now is no different except that he cannot fight with them and that will leave you with no one you can trust. I won't stay hidden with a war looming over Asgard and you at its head. I will bathe and eat something and then join you. Sleep can wait until we are done."

He studied her for a long moment before he reached out to smooth a hand across her cheek. "Very well, Sigyn, but let me first restore some of your power should you need it for defense," he said softly.

There was only a second of hesitation before she banished that doubt. He was strong enough for the both of them and it was a sensible enough request. So, she banished the resistance she would normally have maintained at the intrusion of another's power and reached for the magic that slid through his touch to find a home in her. Then, the world tilted and she knew an instant of _terror_ before darkness swallowed her whole and she collapsed into his arms.

* * *

When the world revolved around her again and colors swam before her eyes, it was Frigga that came first into sharp focus. "My...my Queen," she croaked, struggling to sit up. "What...what has happened? Where is Loki? I would have words with him for putting me into this slumber." She finally struggled into a sitting position and then stopped when her efforts made the world spin. Sif stood in the doorway, hovering and looking for all the worlds like she wasn't sure whether or not the Healer had woken.

Her stomach dropped as her world narrowed to their rooms and she picked out the details around her. The chair pulled back from their desk, a book and parchment abandoned on its surface, articles of his clothes draped across the arms of the other two chairs, his helmet on the chest of drawers where he had never before set it and positioned just so she could see it. She flinched back from Frigga's gentle touch and felt the tears rise.

"Oh my dear," Frigga said softly, reaching for her hand. "He's gone. It's taken me two weeks to undo his spell."

"Tell me," she whispered past the tightening of her throat. Frigga spared her no details and though Asgard's queen wept a few tears for the son she'd lost, Sigyn did not.

Instead, she pulled away when the tale was done and left behind Frigga's presence and Sif's awkward condolences. She wandered and barely heard when Volstagg offered to feed her, barely registered when Frandal watched ber pass in silence, or when Hogun became her silent shadow. When she became aware of her surroundings again, all she saw before her was the shattered bifrost and the constellations dancing beneath her feet. Her knees buckled as the grief swept over her and the scream tore free.

Dropped into the Void and no sign of him in either Valhalla or Hel's realm. Vanished like he had never existed anywhere except in their memories. The scream echoed out through the cold and distant stars and turned to broken sobs that she could not stop.


End file.
